The Uprising

The master has been underground… listening. The buzz in town is that the librarians have recruited a new leader–one who seeks to take down this regime! Oh my crafty minions, you are needed now more than ever.

I realize the master has been absent, but she has been thinking of you. Granted, most of those thoughts are in regards to your incompetence. But to be thought of by the master is an honor indeed (and probably the best you can hope for).

I would like progress reports from all active minions. How many librarians have you upset? Have you acquired any new library strongholds? Please report in to the current minion of the month!

VIVA LA MASTER!

Master, Out

Minion of The Month

It has recently been brought to my attention that minion Jessie, who unlike other minions has retained her name instead of being given a number, has recently been paying tribute to me and bringing me gifts of glow sticks.

She has not forsaken me! For this reason, I am honoring her with the title of minion of the month–and yes, it does look excellent on your resume!

The page will be updated in the near future.

Master Out!

Master Has Not Forsaken Thee

So, the master will be hard at work this summer converting more minions. It has been fixed with work and confirmed that master will be attending camp for her 6th year in hopes of finding a new group of willing minions.

I am sad to report that my top three minions will not be in attendance. This disheartens me.

Devious Plans

Ah, yes, my latest slight against the evil librarians is coming together nicely. We (me and  a team of trained professionals) will come together to steal piles of unused books from the book rental! Muahahahahahahah. It says they’re free, but are they really?

This is sure to stir the feathers of the nasty librarians!

I can sense success in the near future.

Master, out.

Operating System…

As a master, I am often being infiltrated by computer hackers hoping to gain access to my very private and EVIL files.  So, I am contemplating getting a new OS. I would love nothing more than to run a Mac OS on my netbook, but I fear that requires too much effort.

So, I am still trying to decide whether or not to switch my OS.  There isn’t much else going on in my world… The snow has returned and will hopefully be gone by the time I will need to drive to work tomorrow afternoon.

Master out.

A Very Evil Kitty

So, it seems my evilness has been rubbing off on my cat. I went out today to do some public appearances… I must please my people and while I was out the kitty was wreaking havoc on the house.

When I came home, there were multi-colored strings strewn across the house, this is to be expected as kittys do like attacking their yarn. However, my kitty was up to more devious things that just batting some string around. When I came home, the entire screen from the window in the hallway had been pryed loose and is standing up against the shoe rack in the hall.

It must have taken some work and skill to have it land standing… also some strength to have taken in out of the window all together. Yes, kitty was being very evil while I was gone. To top it off, when I came home, he meowed at me and trotted towards the treats… thinking that he deserved a reward for acting like a tornado.

He probably should be rewarded… as I do like evil things. At the moment he is sleeping all curled up next to me and purring… pretending to be innocent, but I know the truth.

Master out.

Drag Show

Well. it seems I need to work on making my deception skills a little more crafy than usual. I was invited to a drag show, one that would probably be highly entertaining, but I’ve also committed myself to spending the day with my man-fiend.

In my attempt to coerce him to attend said show with me, I tried to make it seem as if we would be going to a drag show—with cars, but he saw through my lies. This made me sad. I’m The Master, no one should be able to penetrate my blanket of tightly-woven lies.

So, I’ve retreated to my domain to re-think and practice my lying skills. I must improve… the master cannot stand defensless when a crafty foe strikes!

*Oh, and a side note to the minions, make sure your earthquakes are not disturbing my slumber. It is all fine and well for you to wreak natural disasters on the unsuspecting villagers, but make sure the tremors aren’t  awakening me from my restful slumber! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Master out.